Coffee Creamer Man

A rather long time back, I wrote this… I wanted to blog today, but with the great words of the new President, I have nothing I can touch that would be worthy of this day.  So I share with you, despite that most of you have read it already, a brief creative writing piece.


Coffee Creamer Man

In the standard of my way of life.  I crawl from my warm bed to the living room and sit for a moment, any day other than Saturday; I am in the shower when I realize that I am “awake.”  So Saturdays I give myself a moment on the couch to wake up.  This moment can last from one minute to 4 hours, depending on the activities of the night before.    As I wake up, I notice no coffee in my hand.  This is not right.  This must be rectified. 

The kitchen in which I did not clean up after Big Tacos, is scary.  It is a dark smelly room that only reminds you of what is yet to come. 

I work my way to the coffee maker, and damn- out.  No coffee is made.  Not wanting to wake the sleeping beast child I find the only ground coffee in the house.  This is a “treat” for me.  A chocolate breakfast coffee that has aroma protruding out of the sealed bag. 

I feel more awake already just smelling the ground coffee beans.  The routine of making coffee occurs with little to no thought; water, filter, coffee grounds, turn on.

The almost bubbling excitement sound of coffee brewing ending happens.  At this point I am not more awake than I was 5 minutes before while mindlessly creating the caffeine goddess that I will surely become today.

I get my cup, I fill it.  The special chocolate Carmel creamer procured especially for this chocolate breakfast coffee is calling to me.  I answer it with a slow yet powerful opening of the refrigerator.  As I go to pour the dark goodness into the better yet dark goodness, there is a problem. 

There is a problem large enough at this moment to spur emotion.  It doesn’t pour.  Ahhh yes, there is the little silver seal with the minuscule tab to “help” you open it.  You pull until your fingers hurt, using nails and flesh… nothing.  No chocolate caramel coffee creamer for you.  So in a moment of logic verses rage, you put the knife down and use your teeth to pry the sliver sealed tabbed bastard in the way of your love affair with caffeinated goodness.  Your teeth get the slight metallic taste.  But after taking longer to struggle with the silver sealed tab than it took to make 10 beautiful cups of coffee, you are able to sit with your perfect cup of coffee.

 Mr. Coffee Creamer Man who believes this little tab was a good idea to put on there instead of a giant tab that one can actually open without the use of teeth, I kick you in the nuts today.


~ by monrae on January 20, 2009.

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