An Old Year and a New Year: When They Collide

Reflecting on the year always is a strange thought to me.  I don’t see it as a look at the past, but a look to the future.  However, it is hard not to think back on the year.

There have been such good things, and such bad things.  It is hard to really think about a year in one sitting.  Emotions are so strong when you are in them, however once you leave your head and live out in the world, the strong feelings seems to disapate… they fade… like the past 12 months, 365 days… the whole year.

This group of friends I call my family, wow, it has been a year. 

There have been fights, really bad ones.  There have been hugs, really good ones.  There is going to be a baby.  There was a building time, that all friendships need.  That building time is important no matter the level of friendship. 

There have been parties.  There have been times of being alone.  This past year has shown us all a lot of ups and downs.

There have been hellish jobs.  There have been no jobs.  There have been fincial triumphs and woes.  There have been dreams unknown coming to the surface.  There have been dreams known change.

There were motorcycles.  And trips.  A time to be solo and a time to be on the road with friends.  There were firsts, many of those.  There was even a night where there were exhaust pipes right in your face.

There were apartments and houses.  And moves.  There were rings and things. 

There were times of growing up.  And times of being so young.  There were times it was hard to believe the young were so grown up.  A few times it was hard to see how young the grown ups are.

There were times to see trust in the eyes of those around you.  Something that is not an easy thing to see. 

There were laughs and tears.

There is going to be a baby!

There was the loss of the one I looked up to so much…

I wouldn’t say that I wasted this year, but I can’t say I did… much.. I didn’t ‘just do’ all that I wanted.  I still have a large list of somedays, that remains untouched for another year.

I sit here, in the middle of music and a house on the verge of clean, thinking about this list.  I need to update it.  To focus on it.  To find a way to drive the burning passion for things that I desire to come true.  To take that baby step in doing my somedays.

SomeDay(s) by Sara

(x)= complete/ mostly complete

Ride in a hot air balloon

Go somewhere tropical

Go to Greece

Go to Morrocco

Go on a ‘real’ road trip

Host a really great party

Grow a “Better Homes and Garden” garden

Grow my own salad

Grow flowers to bring inside everyday of the summer

Be out of debt

Get in and STAY in good shape

Publish something

Complete a DIY project by MYSELF

Learn to dance (ballroom dance, clog, all kinds of dance)

Be in New York on New Year’s

Have a CLEAN and Organized house

See a friend unadulterately happy

Make a difference in a stranger’s life

Bellydance on stage

Kiss in the rain, not because it is on the list, but because the moment is ‘right’

Quit caring about how others see me

Be comfortable not being in control

Find a way to use my words to tell those in my life, I love them

Do more crafts, well finish the ones I started and do more of them

Own a motorcycle and drive it (x)

Finish my degree (x)

 

That is the list as of today, it is ever changing and adapting, growing, a work in progress, like me.

This next year I am going to really get going on my list.  I am going to try to do all the things I know I can do and not be held back by people, fear, or myself. 

When years collide they can give you the vision to see into yourself.  Let’s see something a little bit better next year.

~ by monrae on December 31, 2008.