Caffeine, Cold, Crazy

This is day 10 of Slim Fast.  It is going fairly well.  Yesterday was a hungry day.  Rather than starve myself, I drank a glass of water when I felt hungry and had a snack.  Popcorn, banana chips, and yes a piece of chocolate were snacks.  Granted the chocolate wasn’t the best, but it was the only thing I wanted.  I did feel a bit more satisfied after having it.  I added an extra exercise session to yesterday to help the fact I was snacking more.  Other than yesterday I haven’t been hungry.  While I was on the treadmill, I realized that since I started this, other than the one drink I had at Shiraz, I haven’t had caffeine!  None.  I haven’t been drinking coffee, because I drink a shake for breakfast.  I quit buying soda for me.  I am not sure if it the lack of caffeine, but I am tired!  I have been tired for a few days. 

Speaking of the past few days… DAMN is it cold!  I had to turn the heat on this morning!  It went from summer to fall, granted I know the equinox hasn’t occured, however the feeling if fall.  It makes me want to pull out the sweaters and wool blankets.  I love the heat of summer and it makes me sad to see it go, however, I am excited for apple picking and pumpkin picking and apple cider and Trick or Treating and Thanksgiving and game nights with friends.  Fall is a good season.  There are a lot of things to look forward to. 

Today I need to get things done.  I am not sure what though.  I just know things need to get done.  I wish to be productive.  I thought it was the lack of attention span.  It isn’t.  I have decided I feel lost.  I have no “during the day purpose.”  I am not with Jaiden taking care of her, trying to fit in cleaning here and there.  I am not playing with the girls going from park to park cleaning up inbetween trips.  I am here.  Just here.  Alone.  Without that deadline or the push to get things done while I can, I am having a hard time getting the desire to do them.  I don’t know if that makes sense.  It makes me feel crazy.  All I had wanted for a good while was the opportunity to do things on my own time.  To not rush and do them half assed.  Now that I have it, I am not sure what to do with it.  Crazy that once you get what you want, you don’t know what to do with it.

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~ by monrae on September 10, 2008.

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